Tuesday’s Tale 5/30/2017.


I missed another week, as all of you obviously know by now. I can only apologize and plead forbearance with my health issues. The conclusion of this little mini-tale begins!

There were two survivors, both in no shape to make war. One was a man missing a leg, the bloody stump of which I cauterized and sealed for him, and the other tried to charge me from behind some wreckage, a steel strut in hand. I relieved her of the strut and she rapped herself on the head in the process, so I took the opportunity to seal her suit.

I turned to the man again, only to find him beyond any help of mine, some of those needles from my alien insect friends buried in his gut. The girl had suffered the same treatment as soon as my head turned.

Well okay then.

I held my hands up, a gesture I hoped they understood and started backing away. For my part, my possible friends just buzzed around and watched me go.

Whether they understood me or not or just recognized me as different than the scum that looked much like me, I made it back to the airlock without incident. I breathed a sigh of relief at not getting stuck.

A red blinking light was on my console, indicating a message from the home office.

Okay, so I lied a bit. I couldn’t finish in five minutes, so I’ve got one more part – the fun part – to go. See you then!

Tuesday’s tale. 5/16/2017.


I missed another week. I should probably see a doctor or something, but whatever.

Five minutes on the clock, and away we go:

People often underestimated what a full-scale pulse of signals across all known frequencies of the civilized galaxy can do, especially at close range. It wasn’t perfect because the interference caused me to lose control as well, but I was ready for it when my controls went mostly unresponsive and already boosting up at dizzying speed in order to break line of sight and make sure I didn’t fall back to the planet.

It worked, the missiles augered into the ground under me. I had a clear line of fire, so I took it and buried my beacon in the rusting outer hull of the ship. As expected, they fired more missiles.

As expected, I watched them curl around, following my second beacons hijacking IFF signal. The pirate managed to detonate them… but too late. The explosions tore half the ship apart, and it fell.

By some lucky coincidence, most of it fell in the crater it made, filling it.

Well, it wasn’t likely they were a threat now; I should probably go see if there were any survivors. I set my own ship down well away and locked up just in case.

And that’s it. I’ll try and write the finale next week, but we will see how that goes.

Tuesday’s tale, 5/2/2017.


Alright, I’m here. Five minutes on the clock, and away we go:

The pirate ship did detect the launch of course. Even an old garbage scow would manage that, and pirates who couldn’t detect propellant launches wouldn’t eat. In seconds the response came; two missiles (which surprised him, as he expected more) and pulse lasers attempting to paint his hull.

The lasers were pointless of course, they would never raise enough heat to thwart his ship’s panels before he moved. The missiles were the real problem, and from the way the ship was maneuvering it had to have a slug thrower of some kind, probably in the nose.

I set my ship to skate along the crater and fired more chaff, right into what the computer calculated was the path of the pulse lasers. That was enough to defeat the missiles, even with the improved targeting.

Well, it would have been if they had been heat or signature guided. Instead, it seemed as if the missiles fired were being guided by a human.

Perhaps by radio signal.

I didn’t have jamming technology, not on the scale needed to stop a ship transmitter, but maybe I could make do.

And that is it for the week; Time elapsed is right at five minutes. The finale for this one should be next week. See you then.

Tuesday’s tale, 4/25/2017.


I will eventually stop sucking.

But for now, time to write another bit. Five minutes on the clock and away we go:

The drone found the pirates right where I expected them to be; taking to the air looking for me. The problem with this was my own ship to ship weapons weren’t the best; I was a company scout craft after all. My best defense was to run.

No running now though; if they caught me taking off I’d likely die. I was a fair pilot, but there was only so much I could do.

I wasn’t out of options yet though. All I needed was for them to cross over to scan my new crater home. And there they were, right on time….

So I activated my communications buoy array. The buoy array fired a small communications signal booster out of a small rail cannon. It wasn’t normally enough to do much, but if the buoy itself had its payload altered, say with a highly volatile acid used normally used for engine cleaning. In its concentrated form, it would eat through the sturdiest of ship hulls; I would miss it long term, but if I lost here I wouldn’t have a long term.

And that is it for the week. See you next one… unless I’m sick again.

Tuesday’s Tale, 4/11/2017.


I almost didn’t make it this time – I’m typing this one from bed. But at least I’m typing it! Five minutes on the clock, and away we go!

The pirates hadn’t figured it out. Oh, they had to know I was still alive since there had been no explosion or cloud of ship debris on their sensors… but they didn’t know where I was. And with no drones left, they would have to do the dangerous thing and check for themselves.

Nestled into the soft dirt of one of the new craters as I was, I was well hidden. Ready and waiting.

The experience hadn’t hurt my passengers much if any, and the opening of the door had proven an enlightenment of sorts. They had rushed out into their own air only to stop in what could only be shock at the devestation.

Then they flew off to greener pastures; I wished them well, for any contact with me was probably detrimental to their health. As for me, I had some pirates to hunt – and a drone of my own left to do it with.

And that’s it for this week! See you next time, and have a nice night!

Tuesday’s tale, 4/4/2017.


Here we go, I actually made it. Five minutes on the clock, and away we go!

The three… insects that had followed me (my friend, and what I assumed was his family) wasted no time in flying in. There was a brief reaction complete with the raising of weapons when they spotted me without my suit. I pointed to it, in its recharge station, and then to me.

A few repeats and they picked it up. Once that was done, a few gestures at the seat next to mine, the highly padded and crash resistant seat, had them all sitting down.

When I picked up my seat belt and held it and all three of them mimicked the action I knew they were on my wavelength. I’d still have to be gentle, as they couldn’t belt in. I lowered the gravity to keep from potentially crushing them into the chair and they noticed, taking turns looking around and at each other.

A short burn, just enough for the g-forces to plaster me in the seat, and we rose. I was skirting rules here; in order to keep the company’s claim solid, I had to stay planetside. I launched some spoof signatures for the pirates to shoot at, using some superheated signal rods nestled near the power core and made for the purpose.

I launched four, they shot three down. It wasn’t important where the projected course was, as long as it wasn’t my actual course.

The missiles slammed down onto the surface where I’d been; fat and slow archaic chemical burners whose effectiveness could not be denied. I corkscrewed down ahead of what could only be a slug thrower of some kind, fired four more of the spoofs, and landed… right back where I’d been.

….And that’s it! Enjoy, and see you next week!

Tuesday’s Tale, 3/28/2017.


And I had health issues again. Oh well, I can’t do much about it now, except post now before it’s too late! five minutes on the clock and away we go:

The end of the fight was both bad and anti-climactic; the last pirate rover ran as soon as they spotted him. They left behind two of their own, dead to traps. They did manage to dent the door, but it had held.

My new allies wanted to follow me into my ship, which was all kinds of terrible idea since the atmosphere was different and I had no idea if they could survive. I was forced to step quickly and engage the emergency cycle, slamming the door in their faces after the universal stop sign failed to be as universal as advertised.

I’d know soon if they took offense like humans did because I had no doubt they were waiting for me.

I set my suit to recharge itself, set the scanners on active sweeps, and checked the door seals. Now that the pirates knew where I was, I had to take steps. There was no doubt that an orbital bombardment would be on the way.

I was an idiot. A quick evacuation would fry my new friends.

With that in mind, I scanned for them and found them right outside the door. They wouldn’t be happy in my atmosphere, but they wouldn’t die in it. At least, not immediately, and that was good enough for me. I cycled the airlock.

And there you have it, see you next week! Assuming I’m not out of it again.